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Week 4 in Human Structure, Function and Development
The ribs had been cracked open before we arrived, and the wall of the thorax loosely sat on top of his old body. We were so anxious to move on from the legs, back and arms that we had just been tested on, so we eagerly began working. Today we we're exposing the heart and lungs- the HUMAN heart and lungs! We slowly and carefully peeled off the cut ribs and sliced through the diaphragm and various muscles to pull it free. Ther we set eyes upon the contents of the thoracic cavity- the lungs easily stoof out and it was certainly a pleasant sight, because it was a change from looking at mostly pink muscles and white bones and tendons in the arms and legs. They had a marble or snake skin type appearance with pink as a dominate color and speckles and swirls of black scattered throughout. But comparing all the different cadaver's lungs offered much more diversity. Some lungs were much more black and abnormally shaped, some were pinker, some darker purple, and some had more splotches of black while still maintaining their pink color. The heart was located close to the center and for now it was covered in a thick durable white tissue. We could see hints of the liver and abdominal organs, but we wouldn't be exposing these until later.
Touching the lungs was incredible. They were enormous taking up most of the space enclosed by the ribs and encircling the heart. They felt like a Tempurpedic mattreess- when I pushed on them, they slowly and smoothly returned to their original shape. When we handled them roughly, it took longer to fluff out again, but they did. The heart, on the other hand, was much harder, after all it's a powerhouse of muscle- constantly pumping blood throughout. It was even more rigid, because blood had coagulated within its 4 chambers. The blood clots were dark and looked like dirt- some were as hard as rocks. Our cadaver's heart was enormous (much bigger than the average size of a fist). It had obviously become enlarged to compensate for his plaqued arteries. Vessels branched in all different directions and it was a puzzle, we would have to figure out and master. I was anxious to begin the challenge!
It was a nice break spending those three hours in the lab- exploring. It offered a sense of rejuvenation and confirmation, because the past few days had been extremely busy as we spent countless hours studying for our first exam. Many of us were feeling down, nervous, and stressed out. We had all spent our entire weekend in the cadaver lab, in the study rooms and in the library exerting every last bit of energy into learning every aspect of the past three weeks. Not only was I physically exhausted, but also emotionall and mentally fatigued. But cutting into the chest felt amazing and reminded me why I am doing this, why we all just need to push through.
Week 5 in Human Structure, Function and Development
It gets tougher and tougher each day. We are constantly being challenged, quizzed and presented with new information. We just began the abdominal contents- intestines, liver, pancreas, stomach, and the list goes on and on. We have so much to cover this week, but fortunately we have a three day weekend to look forward to- or better yet we have a three day weekend to study.
Today we dissected through the abdominal cavity. Our cadaver, a relatively slender man had extremely small muscles making it difficult to identify and preserve. Anotehr cadaver, about 6 tables away from mine, offered a unique sight. It was an elderly man who had died of cancer. A brtual cancer that had spread throughout the entire abdominal cavity. It was a sobering experience as I stared into his belly and watched the cancer polyps adhere to the walls of the intesting, the walls surrounding the abdominal cavity and anywhere offering a free space to anchor on. They kind of looke like vines of small blackish yellow grapes, deadly grapes. We also saw various hernias. It's amazing to visualize these pathologies, so we can better understand their origin and treatment. I love learning about this- about pathologies, treatments, the complexity of the human body, and so much more, but I must admit it's exhausting and forces me to spend less and less times with friends and family. I've also neglected unpacking the boxes in my house. I can only hope that things will get better as I adjust and learn to efficiently study.
Randomness
-I drink coffee and Mountain Dew almost regularly.
-My knee isn't getting much better, so I am scheduled to have a knee manipulation and scar tissue removal next Friday (September 10). It's not a very invasive surgical procedure, but it will leave me in crtuches for 2-3 days. I'm bitter, but what can I do about it now...
-I joined the medical school yearbook club- can't wait to have another creative outlet!
-I make dinner about twice a week and forgot how much I love to cook!
"When we longs for a life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." -Peter Marshall
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Today I drank my first cup of coffee
5 weeks ago I stepped foot through the large auditorium doors of the new and beautiful Domenici Auditorium along with around a hundred other eager medical students. Our summer had been cut short, but I had been waiting for this moment for so long it didn't seem to matter. We were dressed in spiffy clothes and we struggled to remember names from every encounter. Little did we know we could have been meeting our future lifetime friends, and maybe even business partners. I was meeting people I would spend the next four years with- we would grow together, celebrate success together, and probably even cry together. During the first two weeks, we filled out stacks of papers, we got your typical blue anatomy scrubs, we participated in the annual kickball tournament ( I sat out because of my recent knee surgery, but happily cheered on my teammates), took our first Public Health course, and had the esteemed White Coat Ceremony.
Here I am 5 weeks later...
I asked our proctors a lot of questions. Maybe I was nervous, maybe I thought I could delay the process. Physically I was ready- I wore my nicely pressed white coat with the bright blue patch and polished gold pin on my left collar. Underneath- a nice conservative dress and some close-toed shoes. It would be my first patient interview and I wanted to look professional and nice. But underneath I was terrified. What questions would I ask? What if my patient didn't like me? Who was I- a measly first year, 5 weeks into med school? I shouldn't even be wearing this white coat! Why on earth do these professors think we're ready for something like this!! I only read 10 pages on the subject and now they want me to interview a patient! Ahhh!
Feelings of anxiety surged through my body. I could probably even explain the path they took through the nervous system, through individual neurons and out of the brain (but after a recent 6 hours in the library, I'd rather not). In walked the first patient- a jolly old man. Of course, as an entity of the health field, for HIPAA reasons I can't go into much detail, but I can say that it was a success. At the end of the 20 minutes, the patient slowly limped out the door of our cramped small group room and I took a deep breathe- part of me thinks it was a sigh of relief, but in retrospect I think it was a sigh of disbelief. The moment ended as quickly as it came- it was surreal. I had just interviewed a patient- a real life patient- and I was in medical school. I am going to be a doctor. I still pinch myself in the morning.
Aside from patient interviewing, I spend the majority of my time in the new and very envied cadaver lab with "Spike"- a generous man who was nearly a century old who donated his frail body with knobby knees, so that future doctors could learn and populate our very much underserved state. For example this past week, I spent about 3-6 hours everyday dissecting, identifying structures, and cramming it into my memory. I've taken a scapel to human skin, cracked the clavicle bone with a bone chisel, and even grasped bare msucles in my hands. A few weeks later it almost feels natural. I must say when we first unzipped that white plastic bag lying on the cold silver table, I wasn't sure how I would respond. The bright surgery-room-looking-lights hung above our heads. I was nervous, but slowly his naked stiff body was fully revealed and I felt fine- this is how I knew I was made for this!
I spend the rest of my time in the library staring at virtual microscope slides on the computer screen for hours upon hours attempting to identify cells and their infinitesimally small structures. I sit there in my cubical with books, pens, highlighters, flash cards, paper, my water bottle, and my computer sprawled out covering the entire surface of the desk. The window slightly above my cubicle slowly darkens, as less and less light filters through. The sun sets and I still sit there shuffling through pages in an attempt to commit as much as possible to memory, but more importantly in an attempt to truly learn this information. I've never felt such a responsibility to learn- after all, it's knowledge thats crucial to understand the beautifully yet complicatedly created human body, so that one day I can make diagnoses.
And of course, I attend lectures for Epidemiology and Biostastics, Foundations of Clinical Practice, Histology, Embryology, and Physiology. I go to class meetings, AMA meetings, study sessions, reviews, small group sessions, and more. I practically live on north campus- I am all too familiar with the library, the med student lounge, and the study rooms.
I eat quickly, because there's not time to waste. I take a break to exercise, because I believe as a future physician I should set a good example. And twice a week I attend physical therapy to rehab my knee in an attempt to gain full flexion and strength. And when I have just a few extra hours, I slowly unpack the stack of boxes that sit unopened in my new and very homy house. (At this rate, I may be done unpacking when my lease ends...) Was it everything I thought it would be? Yes and ten times more! I must admit I've felt overwhelmed, scared, frustrated and tired, but at the end of the day, I crawl into my comfty bed and I realize that with every day I come closer to fulfilling my goals. And the following morning I wake up, and I may be grouchy, nervous for our quiz, and dying to press the snooze button a few more time, but I wake up ready to tackle another day, ready to do it all over again.
Here I am 5 weeks later...
I asked our proctors a lot of questions. Maybe I was nervous, maybe I thought I could delay the process. Physically I was ready- I wore my nicely pressed white coat with the bright blue patch and polished gold pin on my left collar. Underneath- a nice conservative dress and some close-toed shoes. It would be my first patient interview and I wanted to look professional and nice. But underneath I was terrified. What questions would I ask? What if my patient didn't like me? Who was I- a measly first year, 5 weeks into med school? I shouldn't even be wearing this white coat! Why on earth do these professors think we're ready for something like this!! I only read 10 pages on the subject and now they want me to interview a patient! Ahhh!
Feelings of anxiety surged through my body. I could probably even explain the path they took through the nervous system, through individual neurons and out of the brain (but after a recent 6 hours in the library, I'd rather not). In walked the first patient- a jolly old man. Of course, as an entity of the health field, for HIPAA reasons I can't go into much detail, but I can say that it was a success. At the end of the 20 minutes, the patient slowly limped out the door of our cramped small group room and I took a deep breathe- part of me thinks it was a sigh of relief, but in retrospect I think it was a sigh of disbelief. The moment ended as quickly as it came- it was surreal. I had just interviewed a patient- a real life patient- and I was in medical school. I am going to be a doctor. I still pinch myself in the morning.
Aside from patient interviewing, I spend the majority of my time in the new and very envied cadaver lab with "Spike"- a generous man who was nearly a century old who donated his frail body with knobby knees, so that future doctors could learn and populate our very much underserved state. For example this past week, I spent about 3-6 hours everyday dissecting, identifying structures, and cramming it into my memory. I've taken a scapel to human skin, cracked the clavicle bone with a bone chisel, and even grasped bare msucles in my hands. A few weeks later it almost feels natural. I must say when we first unzipped that white plastic bag lying on the cold silver table, I wasn't sure how I would respond. The bright surgery-room-looking-lights hung above our heads. I was nervous, but slowly his naked stiff body was fully revealed and I felt fine- this is how I knew I was made for this!
I spend the rest of my time in the library staring at virtual microscope slides on the computer screen for hours upon hours attempting to identify cells and their infinitesimally small structures. I sit there in my cubical with books, pens, highlighters, flash cards, paper, my water bottle, and my computer sprawled out covering the entire surface of the desk. The window slightly above my cubicle slowly darkens, as less and less light filters through. The sun sets and I still sit there shuffling through pages in an attempt to commit as much as possible to memory, but more importantly in an attempt to truly learn this information. I've never felt such a responsibility to learn- after all, it's knowledge thats crucial to understand the beautifully yet complicatedly created human body, so that one day I can make diagnoses.
And of course, I attend lectures for Epidemiology and Biostastics, Foundations of Clinical Practice, Histology, Embryology, and Physiology. I go to class meetings, AMA meetings, study sessions, reviews, small group sessions, and more. I practically live on north campus- I am all too familiar with the library, the med student lounge, and the study rooms.
I eat quickly, because there's not time to waste. I take a break to exercise, because I believe as a future physician I should set a good example. And twice a week I attend physical therapy to rehab my knee in an attempt to gain full flexion and strength. And when I have just a few extra hours, I slowly unpack the stack of boxes that sit unopened in my new and very homy house. (At this rate, I may be done unpacking when my lease ends...) Was it everything I thought it would be? Yes and ten times more! I must admit I've felt overwhelmed, scared, frustrated and tired, but at the end of the day, I crawl into my comfty bed and I realize that with every day I come closer to fulfilling my goals. And the following morning I wake up, and I may be grouchy, nervous for our quiz, and dying to press the snooze button a few more time, but I wake up ready to tackle another day, ready to do it all over again.
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